Dexter's Journal

4:00pm: College.
I know no one reads these things anymore...but, it's still fun to update.

I'm at college.
Holy shitaki mushrooms. (Nostalgia...)

I've lived away from home for: 2 1/2 months, now.
I found some awesome friends.
I live with my best friend.
It took two months for us to get to live together, and it was well worth the wait.


I'm going to see a show next Sunday. I'm very excited. My first concert, other than the Beach Boys.
I feel like I'm actually, finally starting to grow up...slowly, but surely. It's about time.


I can't think of anything else worth saying right now.

12:02am: Looooooong way
Wow.  What a good day.  Woke up around 10:15, Ali and Stef were here around 1:00.  Then after they left, around 5:00 Christy came over, and we went to visit Natalie at work, then went to Shaws.  Then Christy and I made two delicious pasta dishes.  I hope everyone is jealous.  Erika joined us for our delicious food.  Colin came as well, he brought chocolate loaf cake.  Just then Catherine came!  Christy and I had a job ahead of us cleaning up, but it was a lot worse looking than it was.  After we cleaned up we played Apples to Apples until we all ran out of red cards, which means the game ended at like 11.  Colin and Erika left around 11:20, and Catherine, Christy, and I chilled for a good ten minutes before they left.

Overall, it was a pretty spectacular day.  I just hope tomorrow is, since I don't have to work then either!

Supertramp is my new favorite band, by the way.

My birthday is July 24...I'm excited for what I have planned.  I just hope people show up.

12:16am: Like woah.
I was in such a bad mood today.  It was the heat.  I am SO sorry to anyone that had to deal with me today, and if I treated you like crap.  It wasn't you.  I can't believe I was such an asshole today.  I'm ashamed of myself.

2:43pm: Beach Days Off
Does it make me totally pessimistic to wish it rained on my days off?  Everyone enjoys it when it's nice weather on their day off, except me.  It's too hot to even consider trying to memorize lines.  I wish I didn't hate the beach.  If I didn't I would be with all my friends right now.  But I made the decision to save them from my miserableness.  I think the beach is overrated anyway.  It's hot, crowded, sandy, sunny, and all the stuff I hate.  But that's just me.  It's also too much of a hassle.  You have to get all greasy and gooey with sunblock, which for me doesn't even work, so what's the point?  I need to stop complaining.  But, if I were at the beach, it'd be worse.  Trust me. 
I've decided I hate having a day off.  At least at work I have someone to talk to.  This summer just isn't what I wanted or hoped for.  Granted, it's still early.  I'm just in a bad mood I think.  Too much on my mind.  Just one of those days you just want to cry.  It's probably the heat.

I'm glad I found my livejournal.  It's giving me something to do to distract me from these stupid lines. 

I have my birthday off from work.  I hope it's not this nice.  Sad, I know.  I actually hope it rains a lot that day cause I'd actually really enjoy having a bunch of people over just to watch movies, if they have a day off, too.  Let me know, and that's what we'll do.  Cozy up, watch movies, make food, enjoy each others' company.  That'd be my ideal birthday.  It's on July 24, which means the play will be over, and it's in a little less than a month. 

Differences suck.  So do bad days.  And hot laptops.  And lines.  Call me Eeyore. 

7:01pm: Wow...this is a blast from the past, if I ever did see.

While I know nobody ever reads this anymore, I thought it might be sort of fun to write here again.  I was browsing through old journal entries of mine and friends, and thought to myself  "wow, this is so weird."  Granted I did post in the beginning of the year, It's been like six months, which is really long.  I think I'll boot it back as long as people will read it, I don't want to write for nothing, you know?  

I'm really hot right now.  The heat is sweltering in this tiny wooden shack I call work.  Business is dragging for a monday night.  I've already had three visitors which was very nice.  I always welcome visitors.  A special thank you to Erika, Colin, and Kaleigh!  I hate working the closing shift, cause we close at 10:00, which, by the time I get home, it's usually 10:30 and no one is willing to do anything at that supposed "late" hour of the night.  

College is just around the riverbend, as good ol' Pocohantas would say.  I'm extremely excited and nervous, which is the usual feeling, from what I hear.  I think the main reason I want to start this up again (and hope people read) is to keep updates with my college days.

Well, customers beckon.

7:12pm: If this doesn't put a smile on your face...I don't know what does!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFHcFGKPMQ4

10:51pm: www.abovetheinfluence.com

9:12pm: Mama keeps whites bright like the sunshine; Mama's got the magic of Chlorox 2.














Just thought I'd put that out there.

4:40pm: The snooze button is Dexter's new best friend.

It's pretty cool because it wakes you up, lets you sleep, and wakes you up again, and then lets you sleep again....and by the 3rd time, you're just so pissed off at the alarm clock that you need to get up without being late.

10:10pm: I guess I'll just shut up.

10:27pm: Cheesey, I know...but true.
"Faces of old and faces of new. People we know and people we knew.

Growing together then drifting apart. Always an ending and now a new start.

At graduation we all grow nearer, and all of our friends seem to much dearer.

 And as we say our final goodbye, one last embrace and one more cry.

A "keep in touch" and a "promise I will," a "remember when"

but, better still; a place in my heart, you'll always stay.

This is what's said as we go our own way."
--Unknown

6:21pm: I don't even know anymore.
I think I am litterally going insane.  No joke.  I hate this year, and everything about it.  Especially the social aspect of things.  I have so many thoughts running through my head at once that I just want it to blow-up.  I can't take anything anymore.  I just want to be done with everything.  My friends, school, etc.  Everyone this year has changed so much for the fucking worst and they've all turned into the types people I've always hated.  I can think of only two who haven't really changed, and by-God if they do, I'll lose it.  I don't want to name those two because 1) I don't want to have anyone against me who I'm upset with, because it's better to try and fix things with them; and 2) I just don't want to single anyone out.
I mean seriously, the whole amount of time we've been friends, why is it now, our senior year in high school that you want to start up this kind of shit?  I mean seriously, I've grown up thinking we were the "good kids" now you start to go have fun with the people I've always not agreed with, and that we've never hung out with before?  And you think it's alright to force me to go to the fair, even though I hate it and always have, and you're forcing me to go by rubbing it in my face that I'll have no one else to hang out with while everyone else is there...way to be a hypocrite and not even consider inviting me to this party (I know I won't like it or what you people are doing, but a fucking invite might be nice!  Oh, and a designated driver is always nice to....And just to let you know, I won't be sorry if you people get hurt by doing something fucking retarded even though you already are (in my opinion) because you didn't even consider inviting me along for that...you just consider whether or not I'll have a good time, or whether or not I like the other kinds of people there.  Frankly, in this kind of situation, where you just all of the sudden think it's "cool", I really don't give a flying motherfuck who the fuck is there, or what the fuck you people are doing...I care if my friends are going to be alright or have a safe way to get home...So fuck you if you just think I need to have a good time.  And if I get one phone call that night...like fuck I'll do anything for you.  It sucks that I can't even tell you this in person because I'm scared shitless of what you'll say (not that you're even reading this)  I don't want to be there for a good time or who is there, I just want to be there so my friends don't die or get hurt..."Oh, it'll never happen to me"  Bullshit, it can happen to fucking anyone.  I'll be the most depressed person in the world if anything EVER happened to my friends because they have just been so awesome, until this party thing, and I really don't even want to care, but I know I should.
I'm not writing this to spite you or make anyone mad, but seriously, I needed to say it, and I can't think of one person I could tell this to in person who would really understand.
 
Fuck this.  I can't even think of any of my friends doing this stuff, and when I do, it gives me the thought that I can't even comprehend.  Like, wow, pretty soon, my friends are gonna be like the people who I've always hated.

10:23pm: Brief update

Superlatives tomorrow--nervous, yet excited. 

Tiger Transcript deadline on Monday--nervous, yet extremely un-excited.

Finding pictures for Now and Then and Senior Slideshow--extremely amusing.

Cancellation of my Newport visit for this weekend--somewhat of a relief.


School this year:
Yearbook:  Awesome...Mrs. Welch: Awesome
Journalism: Less-than-thrilling...Mrs. Smith: Too Hyper
Banking: EUGH, yet extremely hilarious...Ms. Sun: Hates me (sometimes), Chelsea, Jeff, Dan, Catie, and John...Ali was lucky.
Theatre: Isn't the same...Mrs. Faust: is the same.


I'm gonna miss a lot of people this year...some I just won't have time to miss.  This year has been so much fun, so far.  I hope it continues.  I just hope my friends don't get into any trouble...but if they do, I'll help them out, cause I like to be the good-friend once-in-a-while.  Just call me Designated Dex.

Well, best be off...bedtime is soon.

11:52pm:

One year more,
Graduation is our destiny,
This never ending deal, will finally
Be over sooner then you know,
And when we all decide to go,
One year more!

College will be here real soon,
With roomies, quads, professor's lectures!
Tomorrow begins a year of doom,
A year funfilled of senioritis!

One more year and then we are,
All on our own, no more parents,
What a life we long to hold,
Until the laundry piles high!

      You might recognize it if you know "One Day More" from Les Miserables.

9:11pm: Freaky shit.
So, I was just going through one of my little "let's sing RAGTIME" moments.  And so, out of boredem, while singing, I go to mtishows.com, and what show is on the main page, but RAGTIME.  Freak me out MTI Shows.  Way to go.

11:00pm: Revised Schedule

Period 1, Quarter 1------------------------Yearbook:  Welsh, C
Period 1, Quarter 2---Science of Learning: Grundstrom, D
Period 2, Semester 1-----------Journalism/Media: Smith, E
Period 3, Semester 1---------H. Adv. Theatre Arts: Faust, D
Period 4, Semester 2-------------Algebra II Part II: Manos, M
Period 5, Quarter 3-----------------Facing History: Krieger, J
Period 5, Quarter 4--------VHS Intro to Sociology: Dalton, D
Period 6, Quarter 3--------Much Latin, Less Greek: Ladd, R
Period 6, Quarter 4---------------Political Science: Trahan, S
Period 7, Semester 1---------------------Psychology: Davis, L
Period 7, Semester 2-------Abnormal Psychology: Davis, L

12:33am: Never did I realize...
How great everyone is.  I knew already that I had the bestest friends in the world, but never till tonight did I realize that they were more than amazingly awesome!  I love them all so much.  

So, around 6, Catherine picked me up, blindfolded me, and most everyone met in the parking lot across the street, and then we went on a mystery ride!  I was with Catherine, Christy, Natalie, and Katie.  We got to the place.  The Burlington Mall.  The Rainforest Cafe!  My car's people was followed by Elaina, Catilin, Colin, and Marc.  And Chelsea, Jeff, Stef, Ari, and Dan met us there as well!  It was probably one of the most terrific nights ever, cause after we all went to Catherine's for a bonfire and s'mores cake!  I also got a ton of gifts that people most definatley didn't need to get me.  But I'm extremely thankful anyway.

Now, I'm exsausted.  And must go to bed.

2:39pm: "Has my heart loved 'till now? Forswear it, sight! For I never saw a true beauty 'till this night."
Happy Birthday to me.  


I'm bored as all hell.  Someone save me.

3:10pm: Birthday, Legality, Earnest, and Lobsters.

My birthday is in 6 days.  I'll be 17.  Yah.  Sweet, huh?  On that day, my birthday, which is Monday, the 24th, come stop by my house, cause I want to see people.  I hope and pray to God I wont have to work.  If I do, then you can come by after I'm done.  If not, I'll be going out to my annual birthday breakfast with Nouna.  I'm lookind forward to my birthday.

I'm legal to drive people on August 7th.  I'm wicked pumped.  Even though I've already driven Kavornie home, and driven around with Stef, and brought Dan to Ali's....I've been good to follow a rule that no one else does.

We fitted costumes for Earnest yesterday.  It was nice to see Faust again.  I can't believe the show is this weekend!  It's been moving at a really good pace as far as lines being ready, and pace for the show itself.  We'll be more than ready.  I'm excited.

I want to kill every single lobster in the world.  I work with them for my job, and let me just say, they're much more cooperative when they're dead and cooked.



The comment box is open.  Please use it.

9:12pm: Course Schedule for my Senior Year.
SEM 1:

Period 1: Nothing
Period 2: Journalism and Media- Smith, E.
Period 3: H. Advanced Theatre Arts- Faust, D.
Period 7: Psychology- Davis, L.

SEM 2:

Period 4: Algebra 2 Part II- Manos, M.
Period 5: (Quarter 3) Facing History and Ourselves- Krieger, J.
Period 5: (Quarter 4) Nothing
Period 6: (Quarter 3) Political Science- Vivirito, L.
Period 6: (Quarter 4) Much Latin, Less Greek- Ladd, R.
Period 7: Abnormal Psychology- Davis, L.


I love it. Comment if you have the same anything.

Also on MySpace.  Blog and Bulletin.

2:21am:

I just wrote the longest, most heartfelt, expressive entry of my life.  I poured so much time and emotion into it...

Only to the retardedness of the back button.

I lost it.  It's gone.  It said so much about what I was feeling.  I was sooooo close to copying it.  


I want to die.  Burrough away forever.  Move far away. 

I want to express something so serious right now, I want the world to know.  I just don't want to post it here.  It needs to be known.  It's hurting inside me now.  


Que Sera, Sera.


I need that one special person to talk to.  I need them now more than ever.
I've never wanted to cry so hard in my life.

1:22pm: I hate the sound of vacuum makes me angry.
As the long school year that went by fast came to an end, I realized that friends are people you need.  

As I said to Mic one day in gym, "You're not bored, you're just too lazy to get up and find something to do."  She agreed.  I love my friends.  

The last day of school was awesome.  I went to Ali's for the Last Day of School Bash.  That night wasn't so great.  I got so sick.  I hadn't puked since 3rd grade.
Thursday I stayed home and rested, seeing as how I was kind of soar from the heaving.  Sorry for the detail...
Thursday night was a blast, and I hope to continue the fun times every week.  Catherine, Natalie, Dan, Stef, Ali, and I went to the Top Deck at Woodmans to listen to the live entertainment...it was fun.  They all continued to Fiesta in Gloucester after my dad had picked me up in Essex. 
Yesterday was, well...unexplainable.  I brought Ashley to the school so she could print something, and Nouna was talking to Ms. Forester about the train accident...then I brought Ashley to get her haircut, and went back to school to get the money for the sandwiches the administration had ordered, and found out that it was John Lee who was the victim of the train accident.  {Now, I didn't know him at all, I only knew who he was.  My condolences to his family and friends.}  Then I picked up the sandwiches at Stone Soup, then went home, then rested, then picked Ashley up, then went to Ali's.  Fun times as usual at Ali's.  After Ali's, Dan came over, and Jeff too, after work.  They stayed till about 1.

So far this Summer Vacation has been good.  I hope it will only get better!

8:05am: How sweet it is!
Last night was amazing.


  I want more nights like that more often.

11:06pm: Oh, why can't my life be like this? Why does it seem everyone else's is?

No more talk of darkness
Forget these wide-eyed fears
I am here, nothing can harm you
My words will warm you and calm you

Let me be your freedom
Let daylight dry your tears
I am here, with you and beside you
To guard you and to guide you

Then say you love me every waking moment
Turn my head with talk of summertime
Say you will need me with you now and always
Promise me that all you say is true
That's all I ask of you

Let me me be your shelter
Let me be your light
You are safe, no one will find you
Your fears are far behind you

All I want is freedom
And a world with no more night
And you, always beside me
To hold me and to hide me

Then say you will share with me one love, one lifetime
Let me lead you from your solitude
Say you will need me, here beside you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
That's all I ask of you

Say you will share with me one love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you

Share each day with me, each night, each morning
Say you feel the way I do
That's all I ask of you
Anywhere you go, let me go too
Love me, that's all I ask of you

5:00pm: Congratulations!



Congratulations Ipswich High School Class of 2006!

You made it!!!